You can't have it all...
Note: This is an extract of the first newsletter I sent in January 2018. Some details are left private. If you want to subscribe for my newsletter, you will find the link under contact.
For this second newsletter, I wanted to share with you some thoughts that concerned me over the past weeks. [...] I was confronted with a pretty difficult discussion with somebody who argued strongly that "you have to choose between children and careers. Also that working hard while having children is unethical." I respect and understand in a way this point of view, children do need their parents and I couldn't imagine not seeing or spending time with my children. There was however something I found painful, but I couldn’t explain what.
This became clearer a week later as I was reading one of my favourite book from Laura Vanderkam, "I know how she does it." I read this for the first time a year ago, but I wanted to revisit it while facing some new challenges in my life. I’ll probably write a longer article on this author because her work and studies really helped me to develop the project of Linou’s pots while working full time. In a few words, she is a journalist who's interested in time management, and has been working in this area for years.
She interviewed an Attorney, a Mum of 3, which is pretty unusual in her profession. This woman took 18 months off while having the third child and was ready to quit her job. But!? Yes, there is a but.... (like Happy Endings in Disney’s movies) the firm wanted to keep her and the bottom line was... "she did like the job." I was sitting in a small café sipping my cappuccino, and this was the sentence that grabbed my attention. Yes, she liked her job, so she decided to make it work. She had to organise herself and her family in a different way, making some compromises but finally found a way to make it work.
The point I wanted to focus on is that it is possible to have it all. The interpretation of having it all is very personal, and means something different to everyone. Your “having it all” is not the same as your neighbour or Grandma. But you can have YOUR all.
"Ok ok!" you might say .... "You don't have any big family yet and you still have to balance the unconquerable mountains of laundry, waking up multiple times in the night, whilst drinking the quantity of coffee of an Anaesthetist..." and you’re right!
But I like this different kind of thinking. This is what allowed me to combine my internship, social life and creating a small family business incorporating my creativity.
I don’t pretend every day is easy, but by changing some small habits and being more aware of how I use my time, I could achieve much more than I could ever imagine! This has included less TV, and taking some time in the morning to address small business problems before going to work, I know small changes can make such a large difference!
"She did like the job..."
So I do like my medical job and I do like my creative job. And I’m making some compromises on laundry and washing the dishes, but this allowed me to fulfill both sides of my personality and use all my potentials.
Why am I putting some emphasis on this topic? Because I’m convinced that time management, planning and pursuing personal project are intrinsically connected. Discovering that I have more time that I thought allowed me to fulfill myself more and to concretize some projects I would ever dreamt of!
So … and you? What are your “dream projects” ?
So I hope you enjoyed this article. This is the kind of newsletter I imagined and wanted to write. I would enjoy to read your feedbacks, reactions, questions, ... all kind of sharing that would help this community to grow and to enjoy more its time ;)